d persimpangan dilema

27 march 2011…almost 5 months me n him declare s couple…(ske sgt hncurkn grammar….teeettt)…tp knp ssh sgt ak nk jtuh cnta kt die???dh mcm2 usaha ak lakukn tok ade sekurng2ny sikit prsaan ske,syg n cnta tok die tp await x b’cmbah2 ni??ssh sgt ke nk tngkap cintan kt die??aini,,,tlgla bka ruang kt ati ko 2 tok die…ko kn tau die bek sgt2…xpenah pn amek kesemptan kt ko slme ni…jga solat…p terawih…family pn dr keturunan bek2…ade rupa lg 2…n d most important 1 is dat die dgn suci atiny sggup trima ko SEADANYa even nk d ikutkn, ko x layak dpt llki sebek die…diela sorg2ny lllki yg dpt accept ur REAL self…x ckup lg ke pengorbanan die slme ni??sggup bg ko msa tok lpekn kenangan2 lalu ko yg pahit maung 2…sggup bg ko msa tok ucapkn 3 patah perkataan tu bl ko tol2 dh ready even stp msa cme die je yg ucapkn bnda alah tu..mcm2 sggup lg die dh korbankn tok ko tau…bkn ak x hrgai tp sgguhla ak x dpt nk bka ati ni tok die…at d 1^st place lg ak dh ckp ak ssh gler nk mati tok feeling2 ni n sejujurny jg ak ckp kt die, ak ssh giler nk pcye cnta n llki but die nk jg ktorg cbe…yup…I did try but its not working…make thing worse, b4 die appear in my life, ati ak ni ak dh berikn kt some1 yg ak cme knl sekejap cme…its not love at d 1^st sight but 3^rd sight kot tp die jg x hrgai ak…die insan ke 2 yg b’jya wat ak rse idup n ad ati n ad perasaan smula after 4 years ati ak ni mcm batu…but once hbgn 2 x kesmpaian, ati ni tol2 t’tutup tok b’cnta n trima cnta smula..serikla jg cz wif my 1^st luf, I realy had bad memories wif him dat scared me into death 2 fall in luf again…wif my 2^nd 1 ni, even though ak jujur giler nk mati dgn die, tp ntahla…mgkin ad silap kt part ak smpai hbgn tu t’hnti camtu je tp ktorg still kwn…cme KAWAN…ak hormati keputusan die tok teruskn hbgn 2 sbgai persahabatan antra sorg llki n prmpuan n ak x m’hrpkn pape pn dr die…once ak trima die sbgai kwn ak, 2 tndanya cnta kt ati ni dh ilang..perasaan 2 ak dh kuburkn kt 1 tmpat yg x mungkin akn t’tunas smula m’jdi bunga cinta…insyaAllah x…