hanya pada-Mu

ya Allah...

kurniakn la nur dan hidayah-Mu pdku n terbitkn la sinar keinsafan dlm driku ini agar ak insaf n b'taubat atas segala kejahatan yg ak lakukn slma ini...

Ya Allah ya Tuhanku...

bimbingla ak ke arah kebaikan n meninggalkn kemungkaran...

tunjukkn la ak jln yg lurus jln yg Kau redhai agar ak tdk terus t'pesong drp landasan kebenaran-Mu...

ya Allah ya Rahim...

peliharala ak dgn limpah kurnia-Mu,dgn kasih syg-Mu agar ak sntiasa d bwh lembayung rahmat-Mu...

t'hindar drp pujuk rayu syaitan yg durjana n hawa nafsu yg bisa m'binasakn driku ini...

hindarila ak drp godaan syaitan n jauhkn la mereka dr sisiku...

ya Allah,Tuhan sekelian alam...

ak mohon pd-Mu ya Allah...

pelihara la ak d dunia n d akhirat...

jgnla Kau jauhkn driku dr sisi-Mu ya Allah...

dkt knlah ak kmbli d saat ak m'jauh dr-Mu...

jadiknla ak seorg hamba yg sntiasa taat dgn perintah n suruhan-Mu....

jadiknla ak seorg hamba yg takut akan murka-Mu ya Allah...
ya Allah, Tuhan yg Maha Mengetahui...
kurniaaknla pdku seorg suami yg taat akan perintah-Mu,

yg mampu membimbing ak m'dekatimu...
yg mampu membimbing ak ke jln yg lurus,jln yg d redhai-Mu...
kurniaknla ak seorg suami yg mampu membimbing ak d dunia n akhirat Ya Allah...
dan kurniaknla ak seorg suami yg bnr2 m'cntaiku n mampu menerima segala kekurangan n cacat cela dri ini ya Allah...

ya Allah...

Kau lindungila ak dan dia drp terus hanyut dgn nikmat duniawi ini...
Kau lindungila kami drp tipu daya syaitan n jgn hampiri mereka d sisi kami...
Kau lindungila kami drp ttewas dgn hawa nafsu sndri...

Kau lindungila kami d dunia n d akhirat...

Ya Allah...
ak benar2 m'cntainya tp ak x mahu hubungan yg sebegini...
namun seringkali ak tewas dgn nafsu n tipu daya syaitan...
Ya Allah,sekirany dia benar2 milikku,Kau buka knla pintu atiny utkku...

Kau bukakn la atinya utk m'halalkn hbngn ini ya Allah...
namun sekiranya tdk, Kau kurniakn la pdny seorg wanita yg mampu m'bimbing dia ke jln yg lurus jln yg Kau redhai...
kurniaknla jg kpd ku seorg suami yg mampu m'bimbing aku dunia n akhirat...

ya Allah,hnya pd-Mu tmpat kami memohon perlindungan...amin...

30 may 2011

smlm jumpa die lg...

2nd time after ptus...

tp yg ni informal la, x mcm ari 2...

die pn byk ckp...

ktorg g tanjung harapn...

tmpat cinta ktorg dlu....

bl die ajak p sna, dlm kpla ni, "alamak,nk g sna ke?dhla tmpat 2 byk kenangan ktorg" tp on jela...

die yg drive...

ktorg mkn pn kt tmpat yg sme...

die lak byk kli gakla imbau cte2 dlu...

kaitkn situasi kli ni dgn dlu..

yg sikit pn ak x sntuh...

ape motif die??

siyesly ak xtau...

die treat ak pn mcm ak ni awek die...

treat ak sebiji mcm dlu...

tp ak sikit pn x larang...

siyes ke ak syg die lg??

knp perasaan bhgia yg ak rsekn dlu x kurasai smlm?

wlupn die dkt dgnku...

wlupn die d dpn mtaku?

ak tau die x ikhlas dgn ak...

ak ragui pe yg dh die wat smlm...

xd sepatah pn ungkapan maaf terbit dr mulut die sbb tglkn ak dlu n tbe2 je mncul smula...

sedangkn kata2 2 la yg ak tgu2 selama ni...

sbnrnye pe yg die nk dr ak?

cme 2 ke motif die kmbli pd ak?

argh...ak dh dpt jwpn cme ak x kuat tok bia die g dr idup ak...

siyes,ak sgt2 x m'percayai die lg...

every single thing yg die wat,mkin wat ak curigai die...

perasaan syg 2 tbe2 t'kubur cam2 je...

sedangkn dlu,diela yg ak rndu..

diela yg ak syg...

maafla....skli awk lukakn ati sy,sukar tok sy pcyekn awk smula...

sy tau awk x cntakn sy seikhlas ati awk sbb awk x jga sy btl2 even though awk lyn sy sme spt dlu...

heartless....

lebih bek m'cntai dri sndr drp m'beri ati pd yg x pasti akn m'jdi milik kite ke x...currently, i used 2 keep my heart 4 my own...

i used 2 love u deadly much before but slowly i'll try my hard 2 throw u far away from my heart n my life...n u wont get d 2nd chance anymore even u r trying ur hard 2 come 2 me back...

im not supposed 2 love u but even i try harder not 2 fall 4 u but d result is still beyond my control...im in luf wif u but u r not mine anymore...

i hate d way u lie 2 me...

I hate d way u treat me..

I hate d way u speak 2 me..

I hate d way u care 4 me…

I hate d way u concern about me…

Coz at d end of d day, everything is fake, deceivable n unreliable…

U are only playing wif my heart…

U gave me pain…

U made me suffered deadly much…

U broke my heart into pieces…

N u juz left me all dat way..

Without saying a word.

without saying anything...

Without saying goodbye.

BUT I hate d way I love u most…

i hate d way when i still remember each of our memories when we were used 2 b 2gether..

i hate d way when i cannot throw u far way from my life...

I still cannot 4get u…

I still think of u…

I still dream about u…

I still hope u will b mine..

I hate d way u lie 2 me…

kerana die...

alhamdulillah...lega ati ni dpt b'terus terang dgn die...

n lega sgt2 cz die blh fhm cz die pn ckp die alami situasi yg sme...

cannot 4get our ex n cannot delete our past memories wit our ex...

i asked him 2 give me quite some time 2 accept him in my life..

i need time n he said,"ok...me 2"...done...hehe

u know wat??

he's d most nicest person in dis world...

he can accept me s i m even though he know dat im not perfect n hv lots of weaknesess...

terima kasih ya Allah sbb kurniakn die utkku...

smoga kami akn b'1 dlm ikatan yg d redhai-Mu...amin...
*awk,tlg bg sy msa k n tlg b'sbr dgn sy...sy perlukn msa tok create perasaan cnta 2 kt awk..sy xnk lpskn awk sbb cme awk sorg je yg blh time sy..lgpn sy mmg xnk lpskn awk..awk baik sgt2...sy perlukn msa tok buang my ex dr idup sy....slgi sy x blh buang die,slgi 2 la ati ni bkn tok awk...maaf cz sy seolah2 x hrgai kehadiran awk dlm idup sy....jujur dr ati,sy sgt2 rse b'slh dgn awk...sy xd niat nk men2kn perasaan awk...lgsung x penah t'lintas pn...sy sgt b'hrp 1 ari nti ati ni cme milik awk sorg je...tlg bg sy msa k...

much more stronger plz...

suddenly feeling so sad...

wanna cry so much but i don wanna drop my tears anymore..

ya Allah...

tlgla buang jauh2 perasaan ni dr ak...

ak dh x mampu nk tggung beban perasaan ni lg...

stp msa ak menipu dri sndr yg ak ni kuat...tabah...

tp jauh d sudut ati, t'hiris pedih ati ni..

tlgla ubati kesedihan yg b'mukim d atiku ini ya Allah...

limpahkn la sinar kebhgiaan utkku ya Allah...

jdiknla ak seorg hamba yg tabah n redha m'hdapi dugaan yg Kau beri ini...

pencarian yg d nanti

Yg dicari walau bkn putera raja, biarlah putera agama. 

Yg diimpi, biarlah x punya rupa, asal sedap dipandang mata. 

yg dinilai, bkn sempurna sifat jasmani, asalkan sihat ruhani, sempurna hati. 

Yg diharap, bukan jihad pd semangat, asal perjuangannya ada matlamat. 

Yg dtg, x perlu rijal yg gemilang, krn aku serikandi dgn silam yg kelam. 

Yg dinanti, bkn lamaran dgn permata, cukuplah akad & janji setia. 

Dan yg akan t’jadi, andai x sama kehendak hati, aku redha ketetapan Ilahi

tata...titi...tutu...

already blocked n deleted him from ym...

so there is no other ways 4 me 2 contact him anymore...

in fact i don't remember his fon no s i already deleted his no a few weeks ago...

i don wan 2 have anything dat can remind me on him... 

not even 1...

but he has my fon no...-_-'

i hope he wont text me anymore...

i don wan 2 hv any single memory wif him even s fren...

dis is d dark side of me...

i don care wat people think bout me when they know bout my decision 2 throw him far away from my life but 4 d sake of my heart, my feeling, i used 2 do so...

perasaan ini...

arini nmpk lg die on ym tp masing2 x tegur...

3 ari lps pn sme...

masing2 on ym tp wat x tau jela...

mmg ad niat nk tegur die dlu tp xblh...

ak xnk die tau ak msih m'hrpkn die...

tdk sma skli...

even sume org tau prsaan ak ni tp xkn sesekli ak bgtau die...

puas tahan jari2 ni dr amek 1st step n say hi kt die...

haish...slme mne agakny ak blh halang perasaan ni...

rindu die sgt2 tp slgi ak blh pendam,ak akn pendam n simpan sorg2...

ak x nk die tau...

klu die blh buang ak,knp tdk ak??

ak bkn nk bls dendam tp ak nk p'thankn maruah,hrga dri n air muka ak drp trus d permenkn die...

cinta ak bkn sewenang2ny blh d tukar ganti,d jual bli, d permenkn ati...

you.....

Nothings gonna change my love for you

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever, oh, so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young and we both know
They'll take us where we want to go
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are

So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You oughta know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for
Nothing's gonna change my love for you

 lagu ni ak penah tujukn pd seseorg yg amat2 ak syg...die b'jaya bka ati ak tok jtuh cnta yg sbnr2ny slps 4 taun ak tutup pintu ati ak ni rapat2..ak admit,ak penah kapel dgn beberapa org llki b4 "dia" hadir dlm idup ak tp siyesly ak time kapel2 ak sblm ni sbb ak nk challenged dri ak sndr smada ak mampu jtuh cnta smula or x after ptus dgn 1st luf ak 2 but mmg ati ak ati batu...sikit ruang pn xd tok dorg tp ak stil pretend ak in luf wif those guys cz xnk d anggap m'permenkn ati dorg n x nk dorg alami sktny n deritany ptus cnta mcm yg ak alami dlu..tp sbnrnye dorg sume x ikhlas dgn ak...buktinye.............blkg ak stil b'foya2 dgn pompuan len...

i donno y i fall 4 him..there is no exact reason dat can explain my true feeling towards him..at 1st,i always reminded myself to not 2 trust him s i didn't know him b4..but our relationship grew suddenly, quite faster after our 1st meeting..followed by 2nd,3rd meeting n then became a lover..he was really a nice lover...d way he treated me, d way he talked 2 me, d way he looked at me make me felt like i was his princess...wow..jauhny berangn...hehe..we always spent time together by watching movies, having dinner together...d best memory ever is when we have our dinner at tanjung harapan,klang..it can be considered s a candle light dinner coz there was a candle 4 each table, so do us instead of the viewing of sea itself...wow..so romantic 4 a couple like us...hehe..instead of having those things, each time we dated, d most compulsory place 2 b hang around was tasik sek 7...we sat together n talked about anything happened in dat day..sharing probs,dreams or watsoever..

but suddenly, dat happiness gone..he never texted me after 2 feb 2011...not even trying 2 col me..he disappeared just like dat without saying a word..without saying gudbye..he also moving out from his rented house n moved 2 another place...i hv no idea wat was actually happened..

i pretended in front of my frens dat i was ok..."yea...im ok...nothing 2 worry about..i can handle my feeling on my own...in fact i didn't luf him wif my whole heart" but everythng was defeated..i forced myself not 2 cry..i forced myself not 2 remember him anymore...i forced myself 2 throw him away from my life...but i couldn't do such things s i thought b4...its not easy 4 me 2 do dat cz he is 1 of my precious things in my life...cannot considered him s d most precious 1 as dat title only belong 2 my parents n family members..

i dont think dat the" breaking's title" s d end of my life even though i always c some1 else s him...i also cannot take a look at anyone who drive a honda civic's car cz dat car reminds me on him...despite of dat things, when i c some1 drinks barli, i will tend 2 remind him also...in other words, if some1 else doing d same thing wif him, or react or behave like him,it will definitely remind me of him...some of my frens said dat, im ANGAU...wooo...is it true??parah ni...x leh tlg dh...

after 2 months, he come back...starting 2 text me back n asking me to hang around wif him juz like b4 but i refused 2 do so..i wont meet him again cz i cannot 4get him yet n if i agree 2 met him s usual,thing bcome more worst.yup...i do luf him but i know he is not meant 2 me anymore..so i must take d 1st step 2 let him go n nvr back again 2 me..

tp ak pcye jdoh 2 ketetapan Allah..biarla ak lpskn die skrg...klu btl die jdoh ak,die akn kmbli jg 1 ari nti...tp klu x, insyaAllah jdoh yg t'bek sedang menanti ak..Allah tau pe yg t'bek tok hmba2-Nya...stp pe yg b'laku 2 ad hikmahny...so b'doa n redha la dgn ketetapan-Nya..

people...

people can change easily,neither me...

some people can stick wif the 1 he/she loves d most but others can't..

some people can hold his/her heart 2 dat 1 but others couldn't...

some people realize dat we must entertain others nicely, so others might entertain us in dat way also....

but not all of us might think the same...

people......

y people change easily?

y people easily 4get d promises dat hv been made??

y people always put d blames 2 others but not 2 him/herself??

how 2 create a gud realationship wif others if both sides did not compromise each other??

is it 2 difficult 2 create such relationship??

is it 2 difficult 2 have such considerable person in dis world??

is it 2 difficult 2 hold our promises, 2 not breaking up the relationship between each other,2 b honest,sincere, 2 b nice 2 others??

stop thinking....

lately perasaan ni ntah pape...
asyik rndu n t'kenang kt die je...
aduhai hati...aduhai otak...
tlgla buang die dr idup ak n fkran ak...
byk lg bnda b'faedah blh ak wat slen t'kenang2kn die yg x m'hrgai ak..

ingatla duhai ati...
sekali t'luka slamanye b'darah...
even dh tggal parut sklipn,parut 2 ttp xkn ilang wlu mkn msa b'taun lamanye...
pegangla prinsip yg kau tanam dlm dri ni...
skli ptus slmeny ttp ptus...
xkn ad pluang ke dua lg tok die krn die satu2ny yg melukai ati ni...

ak xnk t'luka kali kedua...ckupla skli 2 je dgn org 2...xkn penah ad kenangan bru antra kte lg...sumeny tlh b'lalu n b'akhir...

hujan...

hujan yg turun bagaikn mutiara...

hujan....

best sgt...

m'damaikn n menyejukkn...

kadang2 ujan 2 wat ak sayu...sedih...syahdu...

knp??

sbb ujan 2 wat ak t'kenangkn dia...

even sejauh mne ak cbe tok buang die jauh2 dr idup ak tp die stil dtg jg...

wlu ak x rela...

dia...

wlu bknnye insan ptma yg ak jmp...

tp die m'buatkn ak bhgia wlu sekejap cme...

die yg mngajar ak erti cnta n dusta...

n die la segalanya2 yg m'corakkn warna2 dlm idupku...

tp 2 dlu....

dh jdi sejarah...

sejarah yg x ingin ak kenang blk..

ak x bnci malah x jg menyimpan dendam...

dh t'surat jdoh kami cme stakat 2 je tp berila ak msa tok melupaknnye..

bkn senang nk lupakn org yg kte syg...

wlupn dtg yg lg bek dr die tp syg 2 ttp x blh d alih arah...

cme die yg b'tahta d ati...

skli jtuh cnta,cme die yg ak cnta wlu seribu badai dtg melanda tp skli ak ckp ak x mampu nk jtuh cnta pd die,smpai bl2 ttp mcm 2...hatiku cme 1...dan ati 2 tlh kuberikn pd die yg x m'hrgai cntaku...