losing

reccently ati sgt2 cpt tersentuh..dunno y..
if tgk video sedih terutamanya berkaitan dgn kehilangan yg abadi,confirm bergenang2 air kt mata ni..
sebak sgt mcm aku je yg ada kt situasi tu..
kehilangan yg amat sgt memeritkan..
kehilangan yg mungkin xkn kembali lg..
kehilangan insan tersayang kekal tok selamanya..
slalu terfikir how m i gonna react if someday i'll lost my mum n dad or my sis n bros sedangkan hilang sbb putus cinta pn dh merana bertaun2..
ak sgt2 yakin ak xkn mampu tok berlagak tabah n redha if aku kehilangan insan2 penting ni..
dan d sbbkn sgt2 trauma dgn kehilangan,aku pilih tok tutup ati ni dr insan bergelar lelaki..
aku dh xnk alami rasa kehilangan lg wlupun kehilangan tu cuma sementara..
aku dh rasa sakit yg teramat bl aku kehilangan die..
aku hilang sume..
tahun ni taun ke-4 ak ilang die..
de worst part ever when i was at my final year..
puas pujuk ati tp smpai ke suda xleh trima hakikat..
yup..up till now ak stil trase lg kehilangan die.
he affected my whole life in every single aspect since de 1st time we met..
n now ak cukup takut tok buka ati kt sapa2 lg sbb ak dh xnk rasa kehilangan..
cukupla skali tu je..
bia la org len ckp ak ego ke,keras ati ke,keras kepala ke but ak slesa cmni..
ak x yakin ak blh bka ati kt org len within dis period..
ak dh tolak ramai org yg siyes nakkn ak..
ak tolak lamaran dorg sbb ak tau ati aku ni cmne..
once ak ckp ak xleh nk time,smpai ke suda aku ttp xleh time wlu usaha cmne sklipn..
ak sgt2 takut if someday hbgn tu x ke mana tp when de time comes,aku xnk terluka sorg2 lg..
susah nk bangun dr luka tu..
take years to forget evn dh lama forgive him..
bia la org ckp papepn tp andai ego aku tu leh halang ak dr terus terluka,ak pilih tok single je..
smpai msa ada la insan yg berjaya buka ati ni blk..

i wanna get marry..so much freaking bad..i wanna hv my own family..to raise my own babies..to spend time wif my beloved..to b a pious wife to my hubby etc..
but when people asking me for marriage,so sudden i become frightened to death..n slowly trying to avoid them..n later,refuse to reply their text..
i wanna get marry but at de same time im afraid if im gonna gv them false hopes..love n marriage r  siyes matters..n i juz wanna marry someone dat i love de most n spend de rest of my life wif him..
for now on i prefer to b alone without having any siyes relationship wif others..

im gonna turn into 25 on dis coming 16/2/2014..at dis age,i hv to think bout my future already..

arini tiba2 dpt tau 1 berita yg 1 of my fren tetbe bertunang dgn org len....

its quite shocking sbb ak tau jln cerita cinta die sblm ni mcm mne...

wat hapens to her bf actually??

knp tetiba bertunang dgn org len??

sedangkn dlu bercinta bgai nk rak dgn org len??

siap plan nk kawin lg....

yup...kita hanya merancang tp tuhan yg menentukn tp...........

bl dpt tau berita ni,tetiba tgn jd sejuk membeku giler2....

based on my past........

based on my own stories.........

based on her stories too..........

tetiba ak jd takut........

takut nk bercinta sbb xtau future mcm mana.........

maybe nti cerita ak sma mcm die.......

maybe ade cerita lain jg.......

mungkin ak yg x setia.....

mungkin hbgn yg d bina x kemana.........

terlalu byk kemungkinan.........

siyesly....ak sgt2 berhrp cerita cinta die berakhir dgn insan yg d karang cintanye sejak sekian lama....

tp papepn,Allah dh aturkn sumenya...

ak doakn die berbahagia sntiasa........

dan bercinta smpai ke syurga........

moga cerita cintaku bakal bermula n berakhir dgn insan yg ku puja.......

yg ku cinta...

agar kasih bersemi xkan melukakn ati mana2 pihak........

agar kebahagiaan di bina bukan berlandaskn duka insan lain......

insya Allah........

kpd dia..........mungkin ade cerita yg terpaksa di pendam sekian lama.......

yg x bisa d kongsi bersama2........

mungkin d bibir terukir senyuman seindah suria tp d hati kecilmu,hanya kau yg tau......

jaga la si dia seikhlas hatimu........

redha la dgn qada n qadar ni.....

itu yg terbaik tok teman secantik dirimu.......

dr jauh,ak tetap mendoakn yg terbaik utkmu........

ak di sini masih menanti teman sehidup semati...

tapi kini terselit keraguan dgn cinta sblm nikah........

mampukh bertahan smpai akad lafaz cinta terucap di bibir??

mengikat diri berjanji setia smpai ke syurga??

stay single is much more better now.......

don wanna fall to other person anymore.....

juz keep my heart on my own........

jodoh pasti ketemu jua 1 ari nati........

insya Allah......

since die ad wataspp ni..ati ak x tenang blk..dlu ak delete no die so ak xtaula since when die ad watsapp..n 1 ari tu,tetbe die chat ak via bnda alah tu..alamak..die dtg lg setlh b'bln2 die x contact ak..stpkli die chat,ak bls sepatah due je sbb xnk die tau yg ak giler2 teruja bl die chat ak..ok..dis is totally insane..

make thing worst lg bl ari2 ak stalk die on9 ke x sbb bl ak tgk die on9,automatic kpla ak ni said,"alhamdulillah die x date arini"..ntah ye ntah x..no evidence to prove my assumption..so stp jam ak akn cek watsapp nk tgk die on9 ke x..sgt giler n ak sgt x ske keadaan ni sbb curiosity tu over sgt..bl die x on9 lama,mula la kpla otak ni fkr yg die tgh date la or doing something else..even though otak ak ni fkr bkn2,tp ak ttp pecaye yg die mungkin dh berubah jd lg bek dr dlu..who knows..hidayah itu milik Allah..

ya Allah,ak rindu die sepenuh jiwa n ragaku tp m'jarakkn dri dgnnye adlh yg t'bek utk kami berdua..tlgla smpaikn slm rindu ku utknye spy die jg punya rasa yg sma..ak sntiasa doakn die jodohku stpkli lps solat..ak nk die je..blh x gitu??blh2..Allah berkuasa menentukn sgla sesuatu..bl rindu die giler2,ak tekap tapak tgk ak kt dada n bce al fatihah n b'doa smoga Allah titipkn rindu ni kt die..tu je cra yg ak ada slen mengadu kt Allah betapa rinduny ak kt die stp saat n ketika..

ok..d sbbkn watsapp tu jg,last nite ak chat die ckp xyahla contact ak dh pasni..xyah msg tok msa2 akn dtg sbb ak takut ak x kuat..perasaan ak sndr miserable gler stpkli die contact ak..nmpk je ak ni gagah tp dlm ati,hampas kelapa noe..1 je skrg ni,ak dh x nangis mcm dlu stpkli mnta die jarakkn hbgn dgn ak..smlm pn even die x reply pas ak request tok stop contact ak,ati ak pn tenang je..tdo pn dh lena..mungkin ni yg t'bek..

jga dri bek2 ye..if btl kte mmg dh xde jodoh nti,hrp2nye kte xkn bertemu kmbli sbb sy x mampu nk tgk awk dgn pompuan len sedangkn m'bayangkn awk dgn some1 elso pn dh dh make my heart broken into pieces but don wori,sy ttp akn terus m'doakn kebhgiaan awk d stp hela nafas sy n stpkli lps solat..sy syg awk sgt2..jga dri bek2 tau..

ak dh x ceria mcm dlu ke??knp lelaki2 yg rapat dgn ak a.k.a my abg angkat,my fren n my besfren slalu ckp yg ak ni dh x mcm dlu.........dh susah nk bergurau,susah nk gelak,susah nk senyum pdhal tu la yg naturally ak wat bl borak2 dgn dorg.......dorg ckp aini yg skrg siyes sokmo......dlu bka je topic ape,cnfirm ak yg pot pet pot pet mengalahkn mak murai...bnda yg siyes pn ak jdikn lawak sbb ak x ske stres2....ak ske tgk org gelak bl dorg dgn ak n ak sgt3x ske gelak...my ex bf lak ckp dlu ak susah giler nk nangis tp lately tangisan tu dh jd 1 lagu...dlu die ckp even though berat giler mslh ak,ak x penah pn nangis n xpenah pn tunjuk dpn  org betapa lemahnye ak dgn sume bnda tu tp juz 1 col,ak dh nangis teresak2 dgn die......

at 1st  ak fkr die yg slh menilai ak...ak ttp mcm dlu....kuat n tabah...tp makin ari makin ramai lak yg ckp ak ni dh susah nk gelak n senyum.....even though certain people tu ak x  penah face to face tp byk kli dorg ckp yg ak dh berubah...dh x ceria mcm dlu.......am i already lost the old aini yg ske wat lawak n gelak2 tu??huwaaa....rindunye nk jd aini yg dlu......x ske aini yg skrg.......aini yg skrg t'lalu lemah n dh x kuat mcm dlu.....sikit2 nk nangis...sikit2 moody......MOTIF???????

the end.....

my life is quite miserable lately.....sudah sehabis b'sabar...sudah sehabis redha tp mungkin ade kekurangan d pihak aku sendri smpai otak d serabutkn dgn hal remeh sebegini sedangkn hal yg patut d utamakn ditolak tepi n dipandang enteng......

cukupla skli perkara tu terjadi.....jgn d ulang berkali2....jadikn sume tu sbgai pengajaran......bangkitlah kmbli.....kejar cita2 dlu....jgn lupa yg dri ini hmpir2 quit study d sbbkn hal remeh sebegitu......broken hearted.......most of people around me penah mengalaminye..so knp mesti hukum dri sndri smpai jd mcm ni??smpai effect my stdy last sem.....

mcm yg penah ak ckp dlu.....he will come back 1 day but when de day comes around,make sure ko xkn lembut ati lg....if he dumped u once,never give him chance to re-change de fact anymore...if he can dump u n make u suffer a lot,so he has no reason anymore to come back...not even one....n now,die dh kembli smula......jual blk ayat2 manis die tu...but so sad,im not interested anymore on u...

my life has to go on watever hapens b4.......nvr look back...let de past b past.....jdikn iktibar tok mulakn idup bru n prove to him dat u can live urlife to the fullest,full of joy n hepines even he's not wif u anymore.....keraskn ati n jgn sesekli lemah dgn pujuk rayu die lg...sbb klu die dh penah wat skli, x mustahil die blh wat lg tok kli ke dua n sterusnya...don let urself b a victim anymore....

u'll nvr get any opportunity anymore to win my heart....juz once but u r already missing it........so sad bcoz 

i'm already being sick and tired of people who doesn't have consistency in appreciating people and easy to forget whenever he or she got the thing that seen to bring temporary happiness, at last when it is over, they start to find back the people that they throw like a rubbish and the scenario keep repeated for the entire life as long there is no one try to end the story. For some situation the best way to have happiness is to put -THE END-

so now im de 1 to put de end of our relationship ever.....

bff

m'punyai seorg teman yg bek,teman susah senang b'sama,amat2 ak hrgai..he's nice..truly nice..even bru bpe bln kwn dgn die tp ak senang dgn die sbb ak blh cite every single thing dgn die..even ak x ckp pape pn,die dh blh bce emosi ak once die pndg ak..so mmg xleh nk tipu even ak senyum2 n trying my best nk hide sume tu..

n at d end,die akn slow talk dgn ak until ak bka mulut..die kwn ak yg sgt2 bgs..mmg x penah amek kesempatan n sgt2 understanding..
die hormat pendrian ak bl ak tolak tok nek moto dgn die..siap teman ak jln kaki lg tok blk umah dr khulafa..dlu die escort ak dgn moto die then die escort by walking together wif me even after ak smpai umah,die kna pusing smula ke khulafa amek mto sorg2..

kadang2 tu b'tekak gak ngn die sbb serba slh lak bl die willing jln kaki teman ak..pdhal tu bnda yg dh lama die tglkn..at 1st knl die lg,die mmg sgt2 protective..dlu curi2 escort ak sbb die xnk jd pape kt ak bl ak jln kaki sorg2..pas kntoi dgn ak,die escort la scra terang2an..then bnda yg paling ak x b'kenan tu bl stpkli lepak khulafa,most of d time,die yg kuakn duit byr mknan ak..tu yg plng ak x ske..bl ak bg duit ak,mati2 xnk time..bkn perangai ak la tok bia kn lelaki abiskn duit tok ak even dlm hal kecik2..xnk t'utang budi..

ak ske kwn ngn die sbb die x segan knlkn ak kt kwn2 die n ktorg leh lepak sme2..ak ngn die pn kasar..sume prangai x senonoh ak kua..automatically sume prangai buruk ak d pertontonkn kt die..dr cra gelak yg t'bahak2,ske mengomel,ske lwn ckp,nek tgn.sume la..lum lg perangai buas time tgk bola..die sorg je yg tau prangai sbnr ak..even die lelaki,kasar tu lbh kt ak..he's realy a nice fren of mine..

bl b'kwn tnpa melibatkn ati n perasaan ni,mmg best giler..ak blh jd ak yg sbnr..lgpn ak mmg dh ckp awl2 yg ak xnk cinta2 dh..so kt pihak ak,mmg tu la yg ak rse..juz kwn tp kt pihak die,ak xtau sbb most of d time,ktorg lepak mamak almost everyday..org ckp,llki n pompuan ni xleh b'kwn bek sbb mst ad seblh pihak yg akn simpan perasan yg bkn sekadar kwn..hope x la sbb die pn tau ati ak ni kt spe..sbb tu ak xleh time org len..

reality cuma mimpi

bl die on9,ak offline..bl die dh offline,ak online blk..
ni la rutin ari2 4 d past 3 days..
bkn sengaja nk elak tp t'pkse avoid die cmni..
sbb ati ak ni x kuat lg nk avoid die sepenuhny..
ak xnk once die chat ak,p'dirian ak tok avoid die trus goyah..
tu yg ak paling lemah sbb ak tend to reply him once he text me..
so how comes ak nk avoid die if dis thing hapens???
but deep down inside,hepi gak tgk die on9 sbb tau die x kua date ngn mne2 pompuan on dat time..
but tetbe confius sbb dlu time kua dgn die,die online je =_='
haiyoo..ntah2 die tgh date smbil on9 kot???? T_T'
dah2..jgn fkr pape..juz think positive aini..
everything's gonna b ok..
ko kna hepi if die dh ad some1 else yg blh bhgiakn die..
jodoh kn..maybe jodoh die dgn org len..bkn ko..
redha..redha..
chillax girl..x mao sedih2..
(ok..pretending to b ok @_@)
yezzaaaaa..syg lg kt die rupa2nye..xleh nk tipu dri sndr..hehehehe

suami

misi mencari suami sedang d jalankn..wohohohoo..gatai noe bunyinye to d truth is dat, x gatal pn..cme m'cri keredhaan Ilahi je..bhgia dunia akhirat..sometimes rse mcm dh ready nk jd wife org n ad keluarga sndr but kadang2,rse lum ready lg..

mne x nye..bl fkr2 blk,prangai ni nk kna ubah..kna buang dlu prangai bdk2 n x matang ni..kna prepare mentally n physically tok bina masjid n idup dgn soulmate ni..nmpk mudah but in reality, byk jg dugaan menanti..
but freaking siyes,ak nk kawin cpt..lately perasaan nk kawin tu m'buak2..b'cmbah2 n mekar harum mewangi..ya Allah,tlgla kurniaakn ak seorg pendamping iaitu suami yg halal bgku tok menemaniku d stp langkah kakiku menuju redha-Mu ya Allah..amin..

permudahkn la urusanku ini ya Allah..ak x perlukn kapel or llki yg tdk halal bgku tok b'kongsi kasih n syg tp ak amat2 memerlukn seorg suami yg mampu m'bimbing ak ke jln-Mu..yg sggup menerima ak seadanya..yg sggup b'susah senang dgnku n yg sggup m'jalani idup ni d stp hela nafasku..
jdikn la kami pasangan yg saling melengkapi antra 1 sma lain..yg sggup berubah bersama2 ke arah kebaikn..yg mampu m'jdi imam utkku n kurniaan kami anak2 yg soleh n solehah yg bakal m'doakn kesejahteraan kami d alam yg 1 lg..amin..

ujian + persahabatan

life is getting harder,harder n more harder each day..dugaan yg turun tnpa d sangka2..im almost give up of my stdy..nyaris2 nk quit sbb dh x mampu nk teruskn lg perjuangn tok genggam segulung ijazah..

everything changes..my stdy plan pn totally change..sume berubah dlm sekelip mta..nk x nk,kna wat perubahan drastik tbe2..n im blur..tetbe rse dunia ni gelap gelita..selang msa sehari,sume berubah so sudden..n im lost..im down to the earth..frustrated so much..cannot think anymore n trus wat a huge decision yg akn ubah msa dpn ak nti drpd a bright n light future to the darkness 1..

my inner strenght gone..ak x nmpk pape..fikiran ak kosong..dh x mampu nk fkr pape..yg ak tau,"i hv to quit my stdy..i hv to..i hv no choice anymore..wat else can i do except making dis decision..d only way out for me..yes, i hv to do dis..nothing else matter"..

without consulting others,ak wat keputusan cmni..due to financial prob,hiding these from my family n certain frens n dugaan yg muncul tbe2,ak lost sgt3x..air mta cme kua settitk dua je..xtaula nk ckp ak ckup tabah tok hdapi dugaan ni or ak dh penat hdapi mcm2 dugaan smpai airmta pn dh xnk kua..after 3 days,ak ttp cmni..sikit pn airmta x kua..ak pn cnfius..tabah ke or lemah ke ak ni!!!

but thanks to shakinah.ika n wan munirah n also akmal zamri sbb sntiasa ad d saat ak perlukn kekuatan tok teruskn perjuangn idup ni..yg x hnti2 m'dengar n bg nsht..yg sme2 kongsi my pain n my sadness..yg x look me down even once..im realy thankful to all of u..b'bekalkn semangat yg koag berikn,ak akn terus melangkah wlupn perit..

my wish.my hope n my dream to b

before going to bed,tetibe nk post something kt cni..actually its bout my wish since last year..ak nk sgt p lost world of tambun..giler nk sbb dgrny tmpt tu so awesome..ni gara2 lijah la ni..sje wat ak jeles msa part 4 sbb die teruja giler bercerita pasl tmpat tu after family holiday wif her cousin..up till now ak simpan impian tok g sna..
besides,ak nk jg p holiday kt tmpat2 percutian yg best..yg pntg mst ad laut sbb ak ske tgk laut n mndi laut..ak ske tgk pemandangan kt tepi laut..rse tenang giler..
other than taht,ak simpan impian tok tgk bunga api dgn someone special..rse mcm romantik giler je..ahahahaha..
ok..sekian impian tok arini..nk tido dh..

fade

no need intro la kn..straight to the point je terus..
well,i kept on reminding u..pasword ak pn letak nme ko k..but ak xde la stil t'gila2kn ko,stil syg ko mcm dlu2..bese je..tp ak ske nme ko..sbb tu ak taruk nama ko s my pasword..lgpn nme ko kn lbh drp 8 abjad..so security of my account when using ur name s my pasword tu agak high..dats all..

even dh dkt 2 taun kte putus,tp ko ttp akn t'cari2 ak jg kn after b'bln2 kte x cntact..pndai lak ko cri ak erk pdhal dlu ko yg mnyepi camtu je..nsb la ak ni bkn jenis pompuan yg berkira n jns maki hamun org,so ak accept jela bl ko nk kwn dgn ak..accept dgn ati t'bka ok..x b'dendam pn wlupn sket..tp motif la ko stil nk t'cari2 ak lg pas kte last jmp dlu??bl dh jmp,ko mnyepi lg..then t'cari2 ak blk..dh byk kli k dlm msa 2 taun ni..

maafla..after ptus dlu.den mmg x cri ko dh..mls la dh nk jtuhkn air mke sbb ko..ak merayu skli je dlu time mula2 kte putus tp after dat,ak x penah merayu kt ko dh kn???cri ko pn x tp ko lak yg cri ak..hai la...await ko xleh tgk ak idup b'senang lenang tnpa ko haa???

tp xpe..ak  tau motif ko cri ak blk keblgn ni..ak dh msk dgn prangai ko tu..sume dlm kocek..ceit..tp await ak x penah ckp pape dpn ko erk even ak x ske..hohohoho..org ckp,if kte b'jodoh dgn some1,we will act naturally when being wif him /her tp dgn ko,ak x mcm tu pn..suddenly sume perangai ak slme ni t'lindung dr p'lihatan ko..bkn wat2 tp naturally camtu..so tu tndany kte x b'jodoh la kn????hahahaha..btw after sume yg t'jdi ni,ak mmg x letak secebis hrpn pn tok jd wife ko..sket pn x..tp b'hrp tok jd wife org len..

answers

bl single,rse sunyi lak tp bl kapel n dpt bf ntah pape,bek xyah kapel..even skrg ni im litle bit lonely tp ak x ready lg nk in a relationship dgn spe2..ak pcye cinta tp based on my experiences, cinta b4 kawin sgt2 x menjamin pape..so skrg misi tok m'cri jodoh yg sbnr n b'cnta bgai nk rak pas kawin..
siyes skrg rse sgt2 xnk b'cnta lg..once org nk rapat,cnfirm ak jauhkn dri..malas n muak dh..hope kekal la cmni smpi ak ketemu jodoh ak..amin!!!!!
but deep down inside,ati ak ni dh ad penghuni tp based on our real situation,xde kemungkinan blh bersama smula..dh 2 taun ak ske die even ni mcm sebelah pihak tepok x b'bnyi la..even camtu,even hbgn ktorg byk surut dr pasangnye,insyaAllah yg berhak tntukn sglany adlh Allah..so no need to worry..keep praying 4 his safety n hapines whenever he is..always..doa dlm diam..

actually,ak ad soklan nk tny dri ak sndr psl die..my question to myself goes like dis:
     'aini,knp ko ske die bgai nk rak erk??"
my answer:
     "ak pn xtau npe ak ske die smpi skrg even ktorg dh putus dlu..nk ckp ak hepi giler bl dgn die, xde pn..bl kua dgn die,mcm kua dgn org yg educated gler..nk kna behave n manner..die x suh pn react camtu tp naturally prangai ak jd camtu bl dgn die..nk wat prangai giler2 ak slme ni pn x leh..bl dgn die,dok pn sopan..x gelak t'bahak2 mcm yg ak slalu wat..x wat lawak bodoh..x b'tikam lidah..x b'debat ttg topik2 x b'faedah mcm yg ak slalu wat dgn kwn2 llki ak yg len..sgt manner la s a conclusion..after ptus pn even jmp,stil camtu..pas die anta ak blk,cnfirm ak dh tngkap leleh pastu..nangis org2 sbb sedih tbe2..mmg stpkli pas jmp die ak jd snsitif camtu..lps putusla..ntahla..awaitla ak blh ske die thp gaban cmni after sume yg die wat kt ak slme ni???knp3x???ak bek doe..x materialistik pn..x penah mnta pape kt die..well.its my fate..redha!!!!

d new me

selective person..yup..dats d new me..ak mmg blh go on wif everybody but only in terms of friends relationship..but if dh membabitkn soal ati,ak mmg x mampu la nk bka ati ni kt spe2..mlsla..serabut je..n lately,ak akn avoid spe je yg start nk feeling2 ngn ak..pedulik la..lg 1,mostly kwn2 llki ak ckp ak garang..ad yg still stay by myside n ade yg x ske sbb dorg nk pompuan yg mnja2 n lemah lembut..sorila..bkn ak..x kuasa ak nk mnja2 n gedik2 kt llki2 tu sume..kwn je pon..jgn nk lbh2 k..ak dh penat jga ati org..so now ak dh x kisah lelaki tu sume nk ckp pe..i hv gone through wif so many liars..ak dh penah frust b'cnta..ak dh penah d tipu.kna tpu n tertipu..ak dh penat mkn ati..ak dh penat jga ati ex bf ak b4 dis..ak dh penat d permenkn..so ckupla..sgt t'tutup ati tok b'cnta lg tp tok kwn,ak sntiasa on..tp kwn jela ok..

my bad day

td kua umah kul 4..hajatny nk poie pkns bank in sewa umah kt atin..tup2 tgh jln kaki otw g bus stop,oh mak aihh!!!!! ak lupa bwa duit tok byr sewa tu..ok fine..mls dh nk pth blk tgh panas camtu..then tgu seranas..b'kurun jg bus tu nk smpi..trun kt sec 2 n then tgu lak t529..yg ni pn b'kurun jg tgu tp ati ttp sbr k..puasa!!!!then g sec 17 bli tket blk raya..pastu p pusing2 bazar ramadhan kt situ..juz bli rojak ayam je..after dat tgu lak bus nk p pkns..bus yg sma,t529..masyaAllah rmi tol mnsia nek bus tu..rmai lak tu yg hnsem..d sbbkn ak ni pompuan,puas ak cover bdn ak dr t'kna or t'lnggar dorg time dorg lalu dpn ak..aish..t'calar segalanya..puas elak ke kiri knan..bhya2..aset kot..then p pkns..maybank deposit machine xde kt situ..so b'sesak2 la p pas lak..

otw p sna, rse mcm rye dh dkt je sbb meriah sgt2 dgn booth2 yg jual bju2 raya..then msa lalu kt bdk pakistan or bangla yg jual tisu n minta sedekah kt kaki lima jln tu,ak t'kagum sbntr bl tgk die tgh on col dgn fon yg giler babun canggih..t'teleng2 kpla ak tgk die..humak aih,siyes ak x mampu nk pki fon canggih2 camtu.kayanye kau dik mampu pki fon secanggih tu even kje ko jual tisu je ari2...ok..sentap..dh smpi pas,t'cri2 lak atm machine yg t'sorok area lift tu..blh lak atm tu dh xde..haiyoo..

then back to pkns..p bersesak2 kt bazar ramdhan lak..pergh..lautan mnsia sgguh kt situ..giler rmi org..jln pn kna ati2 tkut t'lnggar org..dh puas bli mknan,lepak la kt krusi dpn kdi bku sementra tgu waktu b'bka..b'bka kt situ jela..nsb rmi gak yg jd gelandangan aritu..x la segan b'bka even ak xde peneman..then p bsn nk kuakn duit..blh lak tiga2 atm machine kt situ xde duit..sengal3x!!!!!ak penat tau 4 jam dok kt mall tu semta2 nk setelkn hal bank in sewa umah ak tp 1 pn x jdi..dh pth ati sgt,amek teksi blk umah trus......

pantang

ak benci gler bl org ckp ak cntik pdhal die knl ak pn x..stakat tgk gmbr je n then trus nk puji2..klu x cntik,cnfirm xnk kwn kn??kwn pn sbb dlm gmbr tu nmpk cntik..jgn hrpla ak nk kwn dgn die klu dh mcm tu..tgk kecantikn semta2..x ikhlas lngsung..

tlg jgn jtuh cnta kt sy..kli ni sy tol2 xnk ad pape hbgn special dgn spe2..i juz wanna b ur fren..dats all..don expect me to give more to u..siyesly i cant..sy dh ckp jgn ad perasaan len antra kte slen prsn syg sorg shbt sbb sy xleh nk bg lbh dr tu..sy bkn jns yg senang nk bg ati kt org even keliling sy rmai yg nk share ati die dgn sy..kte start dgn kwn n hope smpi bl2 pn stil kwn..sy tau sy akn fall kt some1 once i met him at d 1st place..but skrg ati sy tol2 x t'bka kt awk,awk n awk..so xperlu la nk msg sy ari2 n m'hrpkn sy msg awk k..xperlu jg nk mrh2 klu sy x reply msg awk..if x pntg,xperlu la nk over protected or jelousy thp gaban kt sy..form d bottom of my heart,sy dh x pcye cnta sblm kawin..sy x rse nk b'cnta pn skrg ni..ati ni insyaAllah dlm msa t'dkt ni xkn t'bka dkt spe2..1st time ak ad feeling negatif towards love cmni..pls don jiwang2 karat dgn ak k..mud ak akn spoil trus nti..i juz cant to b in luf again until i met some1 yg insyaAllah akn jd suami ak nti..

lately dh ad penyakit bru..rimas btl dgn pnyakit ni..nk rawat pn susah sbb dh mcm sebati lak dlm dri ni..dlu dh penah kna skli..amek msa 4 taun jg nk rawat..kli ni dtg blk..dh mcm cyst lak sbb blh ilang n then kna blk..x ske la..klu jmp doc pn,doc tntu xleh wat pape..kna jmp psychiatrist ni..ehek..yucks..dh mcm mental lak..
actually ak sgt2 x ske dgr n bce ayt2 jiwang..klu ad fren list ak post kt fb,adui..rse nk remove je dorg tu dr fren list ak sbb jiwang giler..lg 1,ak dh x cye la cinta2 b4 kawin ni..i learnt a lot from my past experiences but to tell them yg tgh hangat b'cinta tu spy beragak2 dlm m'beri ati,cnfirmla dorg xkn dgr unless dorg sndr dh rse skitny putus cnta..but most of them x penah bljr dr luka dlu..
once jtuh cnta,ko syg die giler2 even llki tu ur 3rd or 4th lover of yours..meaning dat ko dh adn experience putus cnta b4 dis but never learn from dat lesson..pls wake up..there is no true luv unless u get marry wif dat guy ..

redha

ak bhgia cmni..wlupn xde bf tp ati ak tenang..wlupn sumeny dh jd kenangan tp ak b'syukur sglanya dh berakhir..rindu????yup rindu giler kt die tp skrg x lg...perasaan tu ak dh kuburkn ktne ntah..dh ilang..mrh pn xde..bia la die dgn kebhgiaan die sndr..ak x sme dgn org len..putus cnta je nk update status buruk2kn ex gf/bf die kt fb..caci maki die kt fon..mrh giler2 n nangis x ingt dunia..ocnfirmla tu bkn ak kn even awl2 dlu  mmg nangis jg la tp pastu mmg dh tekad x nk nangis dh psl die..life must goes on..if die bhgia,kte jg blh bhgia..kte sndr la yg kna cri jln tok bhgiakn dri kte..mrh sbb ati d permenkn??? xperlula..mkin kte b'dendam,mkin kte skt ati..ati pn x tenang..lgpn knala pcye jodoh kte Allah yg ttpkn..dh Dia ckp jodoh kte n si die smpai situ je,redha la..ko nk meroyan giler2 pn x gne sbb klu dh d tkdirkn die bkn jdoh kte,xdeny die dtg kt kte blk..accept jela ketentuan tu..redha n doakn kbhgiaan die jg..

only once in ur life

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. 

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. 

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. 

Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face.

 In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. 

You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. 

Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”