Staying at home is like in heaven…so many cheerful, peaceful, joyful n full of happiness…trust my words…being wif ur family around, even once, u had little bit argument wif some of ur family mbers but when d time passed, everything changes…family is d most precious thing u ever hv…they r like a diamond…d most luxurious 1 in dis world…comparing my family wif other stuff, bear in mind, they r gifted from Allah n nothing could replace them…how valuable they r…so do appreciate them…
Being wif my family, especially wif my little brothers n sister, I definitely n naturally being me myself..i can laugh loudly, I can speak freely, I can make jokes suddenly,…nothing bother me anymore…d real me only wif my real own family…d true colors of me couldn’t b found wif any1 else including my frens, my special some1 or whomever except wif my family…
Lately, my family slowly begins 2 normal back…n thanks 2 Allah…d happiness return 2 me back…after suffering so many family probs, so many obstacles, so many heartache 4 so many years, everything changes even not so sudden..once, me, my k.teh n my adik2 sgt2 m’boikot my k.de including my parent due 2 some prob created by my k.de until my mum n dad trust her more 4 watever thing she did n she definitely “makin” big head la..she can said anything dat trouble us later even though we ourselves didn’t do such things s she said..then, my mum n dad trus mrh2 n slhkn ktorg tnpa siasat dlu kebnrn cerita yg d smpaikn oleh my k.de…bl bnda 2 b’laku byk2 kli, kitorang rse cam ktorg ni ank tiri dorg je..b’bln2 jg ktorg mogok b’ckp ngn my parent…ckp bl perlu je…even dok semeja time mkn, sorg pn x bka mulut…
Hence, we cannot have wat we wanted so much when asking dat thing 2 my parent but my k.de juz open up her mouth 1 n then she got wat she wanted..penah byk2 kli, me n adik2 kumpul duit sndr tok bli pe yg ktorg nk mkn…collect la duit sikit2 sorg…spe yg ade duit lbh sikit, die bg la lbh…2 yg ktorg sllu wat…lg 1, me sgt2 pantang my adik2 kna tuduh bkn2 dgn my k.de n later on, my mum n dad trus mrh2 dorg giler nk rak..tekanan kot bdk2 ni…if skli dua xpela kot tp if campur jari2 kaki n tgn pn, smpai dh x t’kira kejadian cam2 b’laku…me penah tnye my adik2 bl me blk kg…”best x dok umah?” adik yg bwh ak ckp,”best ke ape…mcm dok dlm neraka”..my 2nd adik llki lak asyk ckp cmni,”rse mcm nk lari dr umah je…knp sume org x syg koi??bnda2 pn asyk slhkn koi je..koi x wat pn bnda 2 tp koi jg kna mrh gler nk mati dgn mak ayh…mak ayh 2 asyik lbhkn de je…koi x tau ape2 tp koi jg yg d slhkn…”ak t’kedu bl dgr luahan ati die n me juz replied, ‘ biala sume org x ske awk ke, x syg awk ke tp smpai mati akak ttp syg awk…sbrla…kuatkn ati…adik2 perlukn awk…b’thnla demi dorg…”dlm ati, ak menangis giler nk rak tp t’pksela pretend yg ak ni kuat cz ak ni sandaran tok my adik2 time dorg dlm keadaan cmni…then, my 3rd sis ckp,”x best lngsung dok umah…asyik gaduh je…nk bljr pn ssh..dhla org nk upsr ni…” n my last bro said,’x best lngsung dok umah…x tahanla cmni…” time 2 umo die around 9 years…
but im happy…yup..im happy wif my life now…d way I went through all those things make me so strong, self-determining, protective towards my little bro’s n sis but sometimes, I lacked of self-confident coz my thoughtful, my mind set always saying dat, “my family is not like yours…we have 2 many probs, always fight wif each other…org ni x ske org 2…org 2 x ske org ni…org ni buruk2 kan org 2…org 2 dpn org ni ckp cam2, blkg die ckp len…hmmm…im so tired wif all those stupid things cz I need 2 listen 2 dat things cz im part of this “beloved’ family…besides,my parent didn’t teach me religious matter…I learnt how 2 pray at my primary Islamic school 4 evening session…luckily, d school only situated behind my house…if not, im ZEROO in Islamic matter..if not, I couldn’t recite d Quran…if not, I was unable 2 recite doa’s n if not, im only Muslim in d I/C but not a Muslimah in my daily life…”dats d fact…dats y there r so many problems in my life…
“JELOUSY’….it always cross in my mind..”we come from different background”…u r lucky deadly much coz u come from a family who makes Islam s d way of ur life..u r following d right path…u know how 2 pray since u r very3x young…u hv learnt so many Islamic matters dat ur parent teach u but I haven’t…my family never pray together, “BERJEMAAH” x penah skli pn…from my 12 family members, only my father n my younger sis yg jga solat…my “adik2 llki” x pndai pn bce Quran…Muqaddam pn dorg x pass2 lg…my k.teh also…my k.de, abg ngah, abg alang n k.long jarang sgt2 solat…itula ketakutan n kerisauan ak yg amat sgt…tiada soleh n solehah dlm family ak tok d jadikn bekalan d akhirat nti…me???alhamdulillah, Im able 2 recite d Quran well n capable 2 pray…but I really need some1 to guide me 2 make Islam s d way of my life…but who???2 whom shuld I rely on??yup…me sgt2 jelous giler nk mati tgk family kwn2 ak, family org len yg btl2 m’jga Islamnye, yg m’jga solatnya, yg mendidik anak2 dorg dgn ilmu2 akhirat…knp ak jeles??sbb ak xpenah dpt sume bnda 2 dr my own parent…xpenah lngsung…
