ak dh x ceria mcm dlu ke??knp lelaki2 yg rapat dgn ak a.k.a my abg angkat,my fren n my besfren slalu ckp yg ak ni dh x mcm dlu.........dh susah nk bergurau,susah nk gelak,susah nk senyum pdhal tu la yg naturally ak wat bl borak2 dgn dorg.......dorg ckp aini yg skrg siyes sokmo......dlu bka je topic ape,cnfirm ak yg pot pet pot pet mengalahkn mak murai...bnda yg siyes pn ak jdikn lawak sbb ak x ske stres2....ak ske tgk org gelak bl dorg dgn ak n ak sgt3x ske gelak...my ex bf lak ckp dlu ak susah giler nk nangis tp lately tangisan tu dh jd 1 lagu...dlu die ckp even though berat giler mslh ak,ak x penah pn nangis n xpenah pn tunjuk dpn  org betapa lemahnye ak dgn sume bnda tu tp juz 1 col,ak dh nangis teresak2 dgn die......

at 1st  ak fkr die yg slh menilai ak...ak ttp mcm dlu....kuat n tabah...tp makin ari makin ramai lak yg ckp ak ni dh susah nk gelak n senyum.....even though certain people tu ak x  penah face to face tp byk kli dorg ckp yg ak dh berubah...dh x ceria mcm dlu.......am i already lost the old aini yg ske wat lawak n gelak2 tu??huwaaa....rindunye nk jd aini yg dlu......x ske aini yg skrg.......aini yg skrg t'lalu lemah n dh x kuat mcm dlu.....sikit2 nk nangis...sikit2 moody......MOTIF???????

the end.....

my life is quite miserable lately.....sudah sehabis b'sabar...sudah sehabis redha tp mungkin ade kekurangan d pihak aku sendri smpai otak d serabutkn dgn hal remeh sebegini sedangkn hal yg patut d utamakn ditolak tepi n dipandang enteng......

cukupla skli perkara tu terjadi.....jgn d ulang berkali2....jadikn sume tu sbgai pengajaran......bangkitlah kmbli.....kejar cita2 dlu....jgn lupa yg dri ini hmpir2 quit study d sbbkn hal remeh sebegitu......broken hearted.......most of people around me penah mengalaminye..so knp mesti hukum dri sndri smpai jd mcm ni??smpai effect my stdy last sem.....

mcm yg penah ak ckp dlu.....he will come back 1 day but when de day comes around,make sure ko xkn lembut ati lg....if he dumped u once,never give him chance to re-change de fact anymore...if he can dump u n make u suffer a lot,so he has no reason anymore to come back...not even one....n now,die dh kembli smula......jual blk ayat2 manis die tu...but so sad,im not interested anymore on u...

my life has to go on watever hapens b4.......nvr look back...let de past b past.....jdikn iktibar tok mulakn idup bru n prove to him dat u can live urlife to the fullest,full of joy n hepines even he's not wif u anymore.....keraskn ati n jgn sesekli lemah dgn pujuk rayu die lg...sbb klu die dh penah wat skli, x mustahil die blh wat lg tok kli ke dua n sterusnya...don let urself b a victim anymore....

u'll nvr get any opportunity anymore to win my heart....juz once but u r already missing it........so sad bcoz 

i'm already being sick and tired of people who doesn't have consistency in appreciating people and easy to forget whenever he or she got the thing that seen to bring temporary happiness, at last when it is over, they start to find back the people that they throw like a rubbish and the scenario keep repeated for the entire life as long there is no one try to end the story. For some situation the best way to have happiness is to put -THE END-

so now im de 1 to put de end of our relationship ever.....

bff

m'punyai seorg teman yg bek,teman susah senang b'sama,amat2 ak hrgai..he's nice..truly nice..even bru bpe bln kwn dgn die tp ak senang dgn die sbb ak blh cite every single thing dgn die..even ak x ckp pape pn,die dh blh bce emosi ak once die pndg ak..so mmg xleh nk tipu even ak senyum2 n trying my best nk hide sume tu..

n at d end,die akn slow talk dgn ak until ak bka mulut..die kwn ak yg sgt2 bgs..mmg x penah amek kesempatan n sgt2 understanding..
die hormat pendrian ak bl ak tolak tok nek moto dgn die..siap teman ak jln kaki lg tok blk umah dr khulafa..dlu die escort ak dgn moto die then die escort by walking together wif me even after ak smpai umah,die kna pusing smula ke khulafa amek mto sorg2..

kadang2 tu b'tekak gak ngn die sbb serba slh lak bl die willing jln kaki teman ak..pdhal tu bnda yg dh lama die tglkn..at 1st knl die lg,die mmg sgt2 protective..dlu curi2 escort ak sbb die xnk jd pape kt ak bl ak jln kaki sorg2..pas kntoi dgn ak,die escort la scra terang2an..then bnda yg paling ak x b'kenan tu bl stpkli lepak khulafa,most of d time,die yg kuakn duit byr mknan ak..tu yg plng ak x ske..bl ak bg duit ak,mati2 xnk time..bkn perangai ak la tok bia kn lelaki abiskn duit tok ak even dlm hal kecik2..xnk t'utang budi..

ak ske kwn ngn die sbb die x segan knlkn ak kt kwn2 die n ktorg leh lepak sme2..ak ngn die pn kasar..sume prangai x senonoh ak kua..automatically sume prangai buruk ak d pertontonkn kt die..dr cra gelak yg t'bahak2,ske mengomel,ske lwn ckp,nek tgn.sume la..lum lg perangai buas time tgk bola..die sorg je yg tau prangai sbnr ak..even die lelaki,kasar tu lbh kt ak..he's realy a nice fren of mine..

bl b'kwn tnpa melibatkn ati n perasaan ni,mmg best giler..ak blh jd ak yg sbnr..lgpn ak mmg dh ckp awl2 yg ak xnk cinta2 dh..so kt pihak ak,mmg tu la yg ak rse..juz kwn tp kt pihak die,ak xtau sbb most of d time,ktorg lepak mamak almost everyday..org ckp,llki n pompuan ni xleh b'kwn bek sbb mst ad seblh pihak yg akn simpan perasan yg bkn sekadar kwn..hope x la sbb die pn tau ati ak ni kt spe..sbb tu ak xleh time org len..

reality cuma mimpi

bl die on9,ak offline..bl die dh offline,ak online blk..
ni la rutin ari2 4 d past 3 days..
bkn sengaja nk elak tp t'pkse avoid die cmni..
sbb ati ak ni x kuat lg nk avoid die sepenuhny..
ak xnk once die chat ak,p'dirian ak tok avoid die trus goyah..
tu yg ak paling lemah sbb ak tend to reply him once he text me..
so how comes ak nk avoid die if dis thing hapens???
but deep down inside,hepi gak tgk die on9 sbb tau die x kua date ngn mne2 pompuan on dat time..
but tetbe confius sbb dlu time kua dgn die,die online je =_='
haiyoo..ntah2 die tgh date smbil on9 kot???? T_T'
dah2..jgn fkr pape..juz think positive aini..
everything's gonna b ok..
ko kna hepi if die dh ad some1 else yg blh bhgiakn die..
jodoh kn..maybe jodoh die dgn org len..bkn ko..
redha..redha..
chillax girl..x mao sedih2..
(ok..pretending to b ok @_@)
yezzaaaaa..syg lg kt die rupa2nye..xleh nk tipu dri sndr..hehehehe

suami

misi mencari suami sedang d jalankn..wohohohoo..gatai noe bunyinye to d truth is dat, x gatal pn..cme m'cri keredhaan Ilahi je..bhgia dunia akhirat..sometimes rse mcm dh ready nk jd wife org n ad keluarga sndr but kadang2,rse lum ready lg..

mne x nye..bl fkr2 blk,prangai ni nk kna ubah..kna buang dlu prangai bdk2 n x matang ni..kna prepare mentally n physically tok bina masjid n idup dgn soulmate ni..nmpk mudah but in reality, byk jg dugaan menanti..
but freaking siyes,ak nk kawin cpt..lately perasaan nk kawin tu m'buak2..b'cmbah2 n mekar harum mewangi..ya Allah,tlgla kurniaakn ak seorg pendamping iaitu suami yg halal bgku tok menemaniku d stp langkah kakiku menuju redha-Mu ya Allah..amin..

permudahkn la urusanku ini ya Allah..ak x perlukn kapel or llki yg tdk halal bgku tok b'kongsi kasih n syg tp ak amat2 memerlukn seorg suami yg mampu m'bimbing ak ke jln-Mu..yg sggup menerima ak seadanya..yg sggup b'susah senang dgnku n yg sggup m'jalani idup ni d stp hela nafasku..
jdikn la kami pasangan yg saling melengkapi antra 1 sma lain..yg sggup berubah bersama2 ke arah kebaikn..yg mampu m'jdi imam utkku n kurniaan kami anak2 yg soleh n solehah yg bakal m'doakn kesejahteraan kami d alam yg 1 lg..amin..

ujian + persahabatan

life is getting harder,harder n more harder each day..dugaan yg turun tnpa d sangka2..im almost give up of my stdy..nyaris2 nk quit sbb dh x mampu nk teruskn lg perjuangn tok genggam segulung ijazah..

everything changes..my stdy plan pn totally change..sume berubah dlm sekelip mta..nk x nk,kna wat perubahan drastik tbe2..n im blur..tetbe rse dunia ni gelap gelita..selang msa sehari,sume berubah so sudden..n im lost..im down to the earth..frustrated so much..cannot think anymore n trus wat a huge decision yg akn ubah msa dpn ak nti drpd a bright n light future to the darkness 1..

my inner strenght gone..ak x nmpk pape..fikiran ak kosong..dh x mampu nk fkr pape..yg ak tau,"i hv to quit my stdy..i hv to..i hv no choice anymore..wat else can i do except making dis decision..d only way out for me..yes, i hv to do dis..nothing else matter"..

without consulting others,ak wat keputusan cmni..due to financial prob,hiding these from my family n certain frens n dugaan yg muncul tbe2,ak lost sgt3x..air mta cme kua settitk dua je..xtaula nk ckp ak ckup tabah tok hdapi dugaan ni or ak dh penat hdapi mcm2 dugaan smpai airmta pn dh xnk kua..after 3 days,ak ttp cmni..sikit pn airmta x kua..ak pn cnfius..tabah ke or lemah ke ak ni!!!

but thanks to shakinah.ika n wan munirah n also akmal zamri sbb sntiasa ad d saat ak perlukn kekuatan tok teruskn perjuangn idup ni..yg x hnti2 m'dengar n bg nsht..yg sme2 kongsi my pain n my sadness..yg x look me down even once..im realy thankful to all of u..b'bekalkn semangat yg koag berikn,ak akn terus melangkah wlupn perit..

my wish.my hope n my dream to b

before going to bed,tetibe nk post something kt cni..actually its bout my wish since last year..ak nk sgt p lost world of tambun..giler nk sbb dgrny tmpt tu so awesome..ni gara2 lijah la ni..sje wat ak jeles msa part 4 sbb die teruja giler bercerita pasl tmpat tu after family holiday wif her cousin..up till now ak simpan impian tok g sna..
besides,ak nk jg p holiday kt tmpat2 percutian yg best..yg pntg mst ad laut sbb ak ske tgk laut n mndi laut..ak ske tgk pemandangan kt tepi laut..rse tenang giler..
other than taht,ak simpan impian tok tgk bunga api dgn someone special..rse mcm romantik giler je..ahahahaha..
ok..sekian impian tok arini..nk tido dh..